Gred and Forge annoy professor Snape
by EchoNiffler367
Summary: Fred and George Weasly, the pranking Gryffindor twins decide to make a list of the ways to annoy their Potions professor, Severus Snape. See how they attempt to write their list in peace, avoiding annoying Gryffindors and Hermione's coulour coded schedules.


Gred and Forge annoy professor Snape

It was on a very bright Saturday morning that Fred and his identical twin George made their way into the Gryffindor common room, with identical grins on their faces, and identical ideas flying around in their heads. They sat down on the couch nearest to the hearth of the fireplace, and Fred dragged a table over to where they were sitting, then George threw quills and parchment unceremoniously onto it, and placed an ink bottle carefully on the light wood, uncorked it, then each took a quill, dipped it in the ink and began to write.

And this was what caught fifth year Hermione's attention, who sat with a glass of water, buried in books and colour coded schedules, preparing for her O. . She looked up from Standard Book of Spells grade 5, and looked over at them, frowning, the glass of water halfway to her lips. Fred and George Weasly were writing. Probably studying. They were writing. Fred and George Weasly. She concluded that she lived in a very strange world, as the twins began to whisper to each other.

She decided to eavesdrop a bit, setting her book down and propping her elbows up on the table she was sitting at, her chin resting in her hands.

'What about number one: Never, and I mean _never_ do the homework he assigned' Muttered George.

'Yeah, now that would wind him up, much better than failing to write correct answers in tests' Said Fred, nodding, while he scratched out a sentence on his parchment and supposedly wrote down what George suggested.

So they weren't doing homework, and the world had not come to an end. But they were still writing, and they never wrote down the planning of their pranks. Her interest peaked; Hermione made her way over to them and posed to look over their shoulders at a piece of parchment, bearing the title:

"25 ways to annoy professor Snape"

_That's it_; she thought angrily, _after I confiscate their pranking material, they decide to do something like_ _that_. She then spoke in a cold tone:

'And what, may I ask, is that?' She pointed at the parchment viciously.

The twins slowly turned to her and fixed her with incredulous, almost bored looks. Fred spoke:

'As you can clearly see Hermione dearest, this is a list' He raised an eyebrow, ignoring her now fuming look.

'I can see it's a list, I mean a list for what?' She asked, adopting a remarkable resemblance to an angry dragon.

'This list includes 25 ways to annoy professor Snape' Said George very slowly and very clearly, as though talking to a four year old.

'You know, I _can_ read, I meant what was this list for? For pranking, selling, blackmail…?' She was cut off by George, who exclaimed with a grin:

'Blackmail him! Genius Hermione, simply genius, thank you!' He scribbled that down hurriedly, and looked at her expectantly, waiting for another idea.

'I'm not helping you! Now answer my question!' She ordered, her nostrils flaring. The twins looked at each other, and then George said:

'Or what?'

'You give us lines?' Suggested Fred.

'I will confiscate it' She said defiantly, taking the list and throwing it into the roaring fire, that swallowed it and burned it to ashes.

'Then we will make another one!' Smiled at her Fred, taking a particular pleasure in annoying her.

'Fine, just don't complain when Umbridge catches you!' She snapped at them.

'Ok, first, we prefer to refer to her as "The Toad"' Said George.

'And second, she won't catch us unless she is permitted into Gryffindor tower' Said Fred.

'And let's face it, even she doesn't like Snape' George wrinkled his nose as he slapped another piece of parchment onto the table and took a quill, setting it between his teeth.

Hermione seemed on the verge of explosion, then she pursed her lips in a very good imitation of McGonagall and snapped, throwing her arms into the air:

'Fine! I give up! Do whatever you want!'

'Does this mean we can sell…' Looked up Fred, but she cut him off:

'No! No Nosebleed candy things, or… or Puking thingies' She stammered wildly.

'Puking Pastilles Hermione, where has your perfect memory wandered off to?' Asked George, smiling at her sweetly.

She left in a huff, hugged all her stuff to herself and pounded up the stairs then slammed the door of the thankfully empty dormitory and returned to work, as the twins sniggered and got back to their list.

'So, now that the angry tiger is back in her den, we can work in peace' Said George and returned to chewing his quill in thought.

'Hmm, what about sending him a letter addressed from a secret admirer' Suggested Fred, scratching his head and looking over at his brother who gave him the thumbs up and wrote the sentence on the parchment.

After half an hour spent with bent heads and whispering, they looked up at the sound of a still fuming Hermione tearing across the room to the portrait and exiting the common room while determinedly not looking at them.

'I swear this girl loves to cause a scene' George shook his head, but Fred frowned:

'I think we should apologize to her later' He said, still frowning.

'Yeah, we should' Sighed George grudgingly as they put the parchment aside and descended to breakfast, a meal they vowed to never miss.

On their piece of parchment could be seen:

**25 ways to annoy professor Snape**

-Never, and I mean _never_, do the homework he assigns.

-Attempt to fail at brewing the potion he asks to brew in class every time.

-Stuff cauldrons into his office, cram them into every little space there from floor to ceiling, and when he notices this and comes to class the next day with a big red bump on his forehead and asks who did it, admit to your 'crime' and say you wanted to start a great cauldron apocalypse.

-Try to steal stuff from his classroom, like potion ingredients, empty potion phials, I mean, the room's full with them, a few things gone wouldn't hurt him, right?

-Better yet, try to hide his desk; unfortunately, you will have to figure out the way to do this.

-Offer him a flask of potion, where you say is stored a calming draught that you have to pour on your head for the effects to work, when it is actually some potion disguised shampoo in a phial.

-Send him a love letter stating that it's from a secret admirer, see what happens next.

-Call him 'Oh the greatest bat of the dungeons!' Whenever you see him, and don't forget to add a bow.

-Blackmail him.

The twins decided to continue the list after breakfast, and preferably away from Hermione Granger and her colour coded schedules.


End file.
